It is a very big deal, cause you are now a waiter, taking your heart on a platter.
And then you are offering it to the person you think will like what you have on the platter. You may be selfless and think that it doesn’t really matter what your person thinks, but you have to ask yourself some questions.
Because the three words are sacred, and you need to do them justice by giving it some serious thought.
1. Do you really mean it?
Or is it spur of the moment thing? You need to ask yourself and look deep within, because no one except you have the answer.
And give yourself some time to think, to get the impulsive answers out of the way.
2. Is he/she ready for it?
You may love your person to the moon and maybe that person loves you too, but they need to be ready for it too. Because what you think is a simple statement is actually a very heavy question too.
Love is meant to be reciprocated and all humans know that. If your person is not really ready yet, it is not wise to put the enormous pressure to reciprocate the love.
3. Is it too soon?
Sometimes you may really love him/her, but it is too soon. You are still a young couple who hasn’t known each other completely. If you do not know the person completely you probably love only the part you do know now.
Loving a person completely means loving the unsavoury details too. You should wait for it if it is too soon. Love is not in a hurry. If it is there, it is there.
4. Are BOTH of you ready to take the next step?
Saying the three words will change things. That sentence is probably the most tumultuous of all. You are no longer a couple. You are the couple now. A couple in love.
Do you see it? It suddenly takes a very serious and sombre mood all of a sudden. Both of you should be ready to take the awkwardness that comes with it initially and also the responsibility.
Yes, there is responsibility now. He/she is your love and now it is not expendable at all.
5. What could be the reason you waited until now?
Why didn’t you say it a month ago? Why now all of a sudden? It is a good fail-safe-check question that brings out the real reason why you said it.
Is it because she is beautiful?
Is it because of that one night that was so profound?
Or is it just because you cannot hold it in any longer?
What’s the reason you are saying it now?
6. Is it because of the sex?
Sounds crass, but passion can be mistook for love sometimes. Love is beyond sex. Forgive my mathematical jargon, but sex is a subset of love and always will be.
Love cannot be defined with what happens in the bed and it shouldn’t be. You may go frenzy with passion during sex, but love lingers a long time after sex.
7. Is it worth it?
It may sound selfish, but the question is real. Will it benefit both of you if you take the next step? Or are things going awesome until now? If they are you really need to drive this question home inside you.
There has to be something gained if you take the next step. Something that adds to the relationship for both of you. Do not do it for just the feels or for the sake of it, even when you really love your person.
Because sometimes you do not even have to say it. Because the other person knows.
And it can be just one of those things you do, when you look at each other across the room, and both of you understand.