“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh.
Questions like “Why aren’t you married yet?”, “What is wrong with your love life?” or “Why do you keep gaining weight?” are few examples as to how people may hit you below the belt and make you feel horrible. This may often make one react with similar fervor and rudeness.
Fighting negativity and rudeness is an art. You can choose either mirroring the rudeness or being dignified and responding with politeness.
Here are 9 comebacks for dealing with rude people:
1. Fight rude people with a ‘thank you’:
This is hard but when you cultivate a ‘thank you’ in your day-to-day conversation, it makes you more mature. It makes you look and feel dignified as well as maintain peace. This response is usually a sword to defeat whatever rude comments that you may come across.
– “Why are you keep gaining weight?”
– “Thank you for worrying, but I feel fine.”
2. Tell the person that you appreciate their perspective:
Rather than answering rudeness with rudeness, this is a much more intelligent approach. You may not adhere to other’s ideas or methods but you can always tell them you appreciated their input. This does not only help to put the point forth that you decide for yourself, but also that you are not going to stoop to their level.
– “You should get a girlfriend/boyfriend!”
– “I appreciate your advice but I am happy being single.”
3. Ending the conversation then and there:
When you cannot maintain your cool at all and things are slowly going out of hand, end the conversation there. This is mature and will prevent you from saying something you do not really mean.
– You feel that the conversation is going nowhere and you cannot maintain your cool anymore: “Let’s change the topic as I don’t feel like arguing, and it won’t do any good for any of us.”
4. Ask the person, why they felt saying stuff like that was necessary and do they really need your response:
This puts the other person in check of his actions. Moreover, it will showcase a collected and calmer you.
– “What’s wrong with your love life?”
– “Do you really need my response?”
5. “That almost hurt my feelings”:
This is slightly on a sarcastic side and does the job too. It sends out the idea that you will not absorb the negativity thrown your way. Once the person knows that you aren’t taking any BS, they will mostly step back.
– “You are stupid!”
– “That almost hurt my feelings.”
6. Tell them “you are right”:
This is a burn. While this tactic may frustrate you, but since the other person’s enjoyment is cut out they will be more restless. They will not be able to get much reaction from you and therefore you win!
– “You are fat, you should lose weight!”
– “You are right.”
7. Say “You always have something negative to say, don’t you?”:
This brings back the attention from your insult to them. Their negativity and rudeness is now under the scanner. This question will make even others besides you see the toxic one in the group.
– “Your clothes look terrible on you!”
– “You always have something negative to say, don’t you?”
8. Use “I love myself, and I love you too”:
For starters, it is obviously only for informal relationships. You cannot go to your rude boss and say this. So, basically use this for loved ones who put you down. Rather than stooping low and answering back, saying “I love you” will work wonders. You cannot really go wrong with this one.
– “Do you exercise? You look skinny!”
– “I love myself, and I love you too!”
This reaction will catch the rude person off-guard and embarrass him big time. It’s a treat to watch it.
– “You are not married yet?”
– Laugh and say: “No. Not yet.”
So, moral of the story is simply to never confront rudeness with rudeness. “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” We all know this. We just need to follow it. So, take that chill pill and act the dignified way.