No matter how hard we try, we can’t outrun what is truly meant for us.
What is known as the twin flame relationship is, for many of us, occurring more and more frequently as our planet experiences a painful awakening and shift from old paradigms of relationships into a more open and honest kind of love.
The twin flame connection is said to be the reunion of two “souls” that were split from a single source of energy, who then travel through many lifetimes until they are ready to reconnect.
One of the most interesting yet often overlooked aspects of a twin flame relationship is the phase of the runner and chaser.
During this phase, one soul will abandon the other, seemingly without notice or reason. The relationship seems to be over for good—and it very well may be. Letting go is also an important part of the path of love.
The reality is twins can come back together—in kindness and mutual respect—and begin to progress through the stages together.
When the “runner” soul takes off, it is often done out of feeling overwhelmed, not worthy, or confused by his or her connection—a connection that feels markedly different than anything they’ve ever experienced. They may not be leaving the relationship for good. They may simply need the time and space to process their feelings.
Yet, the twin that is left behind may feel abandoned.
When this runner and chaser phase begins, it’s an ego trip for the chaser. So when the runner leaves, they can be relentless in their pursuit. The chasing isn’t done out of the best interest of both souls, but rather because the chaser has their own issues surrounding abandonment, loneliness, and worthiness. What’s interesting is that resolving these issues is the purpose of this phase.
At the beginning of this runner-chaser phase, neither twin is able to process these emotions—instead, the runner hurts the chaser by wanting to move on, while the chaser blames the runner for their pain and projects his or her wounding onto their twin.
Luckily, this difficult process is the purpose of this phase in the twin flame connection.
The number one thing we all can do here is simply to let the twin soul run, if that is what he or she needs to do. We can let go of chasing, pleading, or even rationalizing why they should come back. In order to let go, we need to stop projecting our hurt and blame onto our twin.
Here’s a key point: the chaser twin has to learn to separate his or her desires from that of their ego. Our ego wants what it wants now, and when that doesn’t happen it blames the runner.
And so the runner and chaser phase can be healed within the chaser—not just the runner.
Once the chaser soul stops pursuing the runner, and learns to let go of the ego’s desired outcome, the runner soul may begin to feel the peace necessary to work on the original issues that caused them to leave in the first place.
This doesn’t mean that the twins can’t communicate, be friends, or even see one another during this phase—but it does mean that it has to be done without any sort of expectations, including ever coming together again.
The thing with our twin is that, one way or another, we learn from them—as long as we approach it in the Buddhist style of non-attachment, because only in this way may we let our love enlighten us.
After the chaser twin has stopped chasing, they can still reaffirm their unconditional love, presence and even support to the runner in a newly non-threatening manner.
Yet, even within that, space needs to be given.
The thing that many of us forget—twin flames included—is that what is meant for us truly won’t ever miss us, so there is never a need to rush anything, or push it—everything happens in the way that it is meant to.
If twins can learn to lean into the spaces that this phase creates, instead of fearing the challenges that come up, then we may find that it is in these times of separation that the greatest amount of personal growth occurs.
Because the biggest thing to remember during all of this is that things will unfold the way they are meant to.