Today I was having a conversation regarding unconditional love, and I wanted to challenge the concept of unconditional love, the perception of it.
I raised up the subject of unconditional love being that everything is accepted, that it is not challenged, accepted as IS.
But what of behaviours that cause hurt, how can one be unconditional in those moments? boundaries still have to made, otherwise there will not be a cut off point, where a person continues to be disrespectful.
You may love a person, but not like some of their behaviours, where is the line drawn in relation to unconditional love, they say love ought to be free flowing, no constraints, no restrictions, but we are talking about human behaviours here.
We as humans are complex souls, with a real combination of many facets that come into play.
Humans are certainly not one dimensional, there are many facets to our persona, many aspects that come into play, our early childhood conditioning, what we have been exposed too, our social group, our class, our education.
Unconditional love I feel gives a mixed message that everything ought to be accepted, that it is okay to be disrespected, that is not love, that is disrespect.
For instance, one can say to a partner, I love you, but I do not feel comfortable, or like it when you do this, or when you do that? that does not mean that you don’t love them, it means you don’t like the behaviour and you are asking for a change to happen, in this aspect, this is not unconditional, this requesting conditions of acceptability
After all, love starts with “self” love ourselves enough to set boundaries, that is where it starts and where it ought to end. Loving another is an extension of “self” love, both ought to bring aspects of growth to each other, and to enhance what is already there.
There are however considerations that “self love” is naturally inborn, sometimes though, it takes a great deal of life experience to get to a place, where one can finally say I love myself unconditionally enough to set boundaries, of what I will accept and what I won’t.
We set the template, and when that realisation finally hits home, there is no turning back at allowing yourself to be treated any less than how you desire to be treated and how you treat others.
in love & divine inspirational light, Susan Lawrence
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