Why Unconditional Love Isn’t The Goal of The Twin Flame Journey

When we discover we’re a twin flame, typically we take to the internet in an attempt to absorb as much information as humanly possible.

What we find is the same narrative – “The goal of the twin flame journey is to be in unconditional love.” Which is great. In theory.


Here’s the problem. As twin flames, we are highly empathic and we also have an incredible amount of wounding from both this lifetime and the last couple hundred incarnations of our soul.

What do you get when you cross a deeply wounded human with a wish to be in unconditional love? A doormat.

What this looks like

In an attempt to be in unconditional love, here’s what we engage in.

Waiting around for your twin. Excusing bad behaviour from them. Being understanding to the point of crossing your own boundaries. Giving the benefit of the doubt.

Again and again. Feeling taken for granted. Heartbreak. Feeling angry at yourself for allowing this to happen… again. And again. This is not divine feminine power.


This is not love. This is dysfunctional behaviour stemming from deep wounding. It’s spiritualizing dysfunction.

It is also a karmic cycle. What is a karmic cycle? A karmic cycle is a pattern of dysfunctional behaviour your soul agreed to work through in this lifetime.

This is the reason many twin flames are stuck in the same pattern for years, and sometimes, decades. They are attempting to be in unconditional love before doing the work.

And it doesn’t, well, work. How do you know it’s a karmic cycle? When it causes you deep pain and triggers your deepest wounds. When it keeps you small. When it stops you from moving forward.

Breaking a karmic cycle

The twin flame journey is an inside job. It’s about healing yourself, and getting really honest and looking at all the parts of you that feel less-than.

It’s about looking at the reasons why you accepted scraps of love, which is linked to low self-worth and limiting beliefs stemming from traumatic experiences.

It’s likely this has been a pattern throughout your life, and your twin is showing this to you so you can break the cycle once and for all.


Your twin is holding a mirror to you so you can look at your reflection and truly see what is not in your true essence. You see what you are ready to let go of.

The Journey to Unconditional Love

So where does love fall in the twin flame journey? Is it even a factor? Yes. It is. But it’s about having unconditional love towards yourself first.

You can only love another as deeply as you love yourself. This is magnified when it comes to twin flames.

When you’re in love with who you are at your core, when you love and respect the person you have become, when you are in your heart and overflowing with love, this is when you truly change the vibration of everyone around you.

Cheryl Muir is a catalyst for twin flame healing and ascension. Cheryl’s healing modalities include coaching, guided meditations, intuitive channelled messages as well as her own twin flame teachings. To find out more about Cheryl’s work and how she can help you, and to take the “Are you a twin flame” quiz, visit www.cherylmuir.com.

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  1. Nien December 20, 2018
  2. Nancy Pickering February 1, 2019
  3. Michael poufouros February 21, 2019
  4. Yara July 8, 2019

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